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What to tell...

I have a few minutes before I need to go to class so I figured I should update or something. So I think I am getting sick. My throat is killing me adn right now I can't stop coughing. SUCKS! I keep on hopinh that it won't get into anything worse but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. And according to my mom I need to eat more and that I've lost weight and blah blah blah. What I know is that I look exactly the same. She has always bugged me about eating, but whatever. On another note today is me and Mikes 15month anniversary. Yea I know nothin big but oh well. This chair is really uncomfortable. The back part is like way way back, so you can't really lean into it. Oh well, I'm only here for a few min. Ummm...so far classes are alright. Nothing to exciting. Some of my prof's seem really crazy, hopefully it will be an entertaining class. I think thats all. Nothing more to tell. Hope you all have a great week!

A little to long

So, it has been a pretty long time since I last updated. I don't remember when the last time was. so school starts on wed, and that should be fun. I am kind of looking forward to it because I am taking mostly psychology classes. I am done with biology. I hoping that i do much better this semeseter. I think I have always said that, but oh well. Its going to be werid because Alison and I won't have any classes together for the first time since freshman yr. Its sad because one of the resolutions I made has already failed. How depressing is that? Its my fault too, obviously. Hopefully it will all work out for the best. I just have to try harder. Break was OK. Nothing to exciting. I've started playing poker on friday nights, or saturdays mornings i should say.its fun, but i need to get better at playing. I really don't have much more to write. love you guys, and sorry for not putting in much effort.
So, today I didn't have my RWS class because, instead she wanted to have confrences about our final paper. So, I thought that it would give me an opportunity to catch up on reading and such. Well, this morning I was running out of my house, grabbed my BioChem book and left for school. I sat down to read it, and it was the wrong one. Nice huh.So, I was kind of pissed off about that, but what are you going to do about it? Nothin! Oh well. My next class doesn't start till 12 so I still have some time. Then it's off to the gym. YAY! Then, I will read physics or biochem, or start writing one of my papers. Maybe I will be able to do all 4. Hopefully. Then, I have work at 4 and I'm sure I will be there till 9 or so and then ...more homework I suppose.
This weekend was alright. On friday Mike came over and we watched Skeleton Key-not a very good movie. Soon after he fell asleep and I just laid there. I watchd Cribs I think,and that wasn't too exciting. Then on Saturday, we were supposed to go to the driving range but he showed up 15 min later then he was supposed to, and we didn't have much time. The range closes at 10 and its over by Frys. So, I was kind of bummed out about that but oh well.
I feel like I'm in need of a change. Just, to be better. It's been boilng up inside of me for a while now, I just don't know what to do about it or how to go about it. It's a change for the better and something that has been needing to be done.
I'm glad the semester is almost over. Finals start next week and boy am I glad that they are finally here. I have two papers due Monday, its not even finals time yet, and then my first and last finals are on the 15th. Biochem and Physics baby! Woot! (I figure since everyone has been using that phrase I might as well too)
Well, I think thats all for now folks.
Hope everyone is having a good week and good luck with finals for those of you who are there.

Friends are the wind beneath your wings

Its funny how time changes things. I know that I have written about this a million times, but I can't help it. It's funny how I have always said one thing and done another (i know its not only me, but a general human characteristic). Once I start thinking about it, it really upsets me. Whats upsetting me now is the lack of friendships on my side. I really don't think that I am the friend that I want to be. That I wanted to be. I always say that I will change, but I fail. I fail each time. If I only stuck to my words, life would be simpler, better and happier. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so effin messed up? I hope that you guys all know that I will always be here for you, regardless of the situation or time. I will never turn my back on any of you. I will always hold you close and dear to me. I'm sorry for failing you. For not being the friend that I should be.

Its almost here!!

Well, one more day till my birthday! I am so excited...totally excited. This weekend is going to be so much fun! I can't wait to spend time with all of my friends on saturday. I am really looking forward to it!! It should be grand. It's weird, I am going to be 21....21!!!!! I am really going to dread pulling out my ID card...it really really sucks. I'm not even kidding! I don't think I even look like it anymore...every one that sees it is like "wow, I'm glad you dont look like that"...so if that gives you any insight....
Birthdays are awesome!

Just a quickie

My friends... leave your name and...

1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

I think I got it!

So, I think I figured him out. I think I know now why he has been acting the way he has. I hope that now things will be a little more clear. I think that I'm a part of why he has been this way. Maybe he doesn't need this right now. Maybe it would be best for him to be...by himself...well, w/o the stress that comes out of a relationship. I really don't want this, but if its better for him then it has to be that way. I don't know yet though. I will just have to wait and see. I told him a few things that have been bothering me. It all sounded like "I don't like this about you....." or " I don't like when you do this". I hate school. I hate biochem. I finally got a hold of robert and it was nice talking to him. Hes alright! I was so worried that something was wrong..(I called him like 5 times and it said the number was inactive, I got freaked out and thought somehthing bad happened). I got a new phone but I don't know if I want it. I think I'm crazy sometimes. I want a new job, but I like the people that I work with. I want school to be over. Sometimes I wish I was in high school again. Everything was much easier then. Oh well. Can't change the past.

Here I go

Wow, I havwe't posted in a while. Actually, I have been posting just not on here. I've been spending a lot of time on myspace....I should write in here too! Well, schools goin alright. I think I decided to change majors to psychology. I got a new phone that I'm not so sure about and I don't know if I should keep it or not. Life overall is alright. It could be better but we don't always get what we want. I don't like my job, and I wish I had another one to go to. I don't like my classes much either, but what are you gonna do. Grrr... Lately I've been asking myself if I'm happy, like really happy and I don't know. Sometimes I think that I am, and then other tiems I'm not so sure. Mike is just Mike. He's dumb and pisses me off. I want to talk to him but I always get scared and don't say anything at all. He doesn't ever really know how I'm feeling about anything b/c I don't think he will understand. I wish that I could just sit him down and talk though. Maybe soon.

Well, I gtg to class. History 109 here I come.(this class makes me want to sleep)

Early Again

So, today is friday! Finally....it kind of sucks though. I shouldn't be here this early actually. Im supposed to start at 10, but since I didnt have class Monday and won't next monday either, I need to meet with my discussion group for my history class. Fun stuff I tell ya.
I fianlly got to see Mike last night. It was great! I was so super excited. Oh man is was fabulous!!!! I wish though I wasn't so tired today....grrr. Oh well. Maybe I'll take a nap when I get home.
I think I decided what major I want....I know it might be to late, but I don't want to do something that I won't be happy doing. So, I decided on psychology....I know most people go into that an all, but I think i would enjoy it. I would like to be a child psychologist....so we'll see. And since I've taken a few bio. major courses I think I would minor in Biology. So, wish me luck. Man, I wish I knew what I was doing.
I also think Im going to drop one of my classes. I don't know if I want to be super stressed out and live and eat and breathe school night and day. So, I might end up just taking 13 units instead of 16. I don't know yet though. I have till the 21st to decide, BUT the dumb part is that I have till the 13th to return my books...it doesn't make much sense, but oh well.
Theres a lot of homework that I already need to do....
Well, its time to say good bye! Have a great day everyone!!!

So long sweet summer

So...summer is almost coming to an end and that means the beginning of school. I'm kind of excited that Im starting again. For one I get to see my friends! and second it will give me something to do. I realize now that I should have taken summer school. I would say that this summer was ok. It wasnt the best or anything. I think it got better towards the end. Maggie and I started to hang out again and we also started to run again. YAY! Funnnes! I took her to the gym once,so maybe she will join too! So, this semester I am takiing 16 untis. I have History 109 and 110, BioChem, and RWS(these are at state), at cuyamaca I am taking physics. Yipeee! Its all good. I think I have two classes with Alison, History 110 and BioChem and the rest...who knows. Maybe I will see someone I know. Work has been ok. It looks like I won't be taking the other job, but thats ok. I can always take it later right? I didn't write about how Maggie and I decorated Mikes car. That was so much fun. We bought baloons and streamers and beads and some other stuff and put it all over his car. The whole time we were like..."what if he see's us...." Luckily he didn't. And he was quite excited...well maybe not to that extent, but he was happy. I love doing stuff like that for him. I did something like that today too. He's going to Hawaii for a week so I bought him some magazines and candy and goldfish and playing cards so that he could have something to do on the plane. I hope he likes it!! Ummm...I think thats all for now.